WORDS BY SIMON E. SMITH
2016 is coming to a close. The promise of a new you is near. But while 2017 brings an opportunity to be a better, smarter, faster, gent, there are some skills you should know already…
HOW TO DRIVE
It’s simply not good enough to use the excuse, “the public transport system is crackin’ in the UK.” No girl will think you’re a man’s man if you hop off the No. 453 to go and meet her, even if you do have your own bus pass. You don’t need to rock up in a Bugatti Veyron with a personalised plate, just as long as your motor is clean and road worthy.
KNOW YOUR DRINK
There are fewer things less sexy than standing in a bar and uttering the words “Hmmm, not sure what beverage I fancy tonight.” It screams “indecisive” and for any girls eavesdropping that’s a turn-off. On the other hand don’t go in with, “three measures of Gordon's; one of vodka; half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it over ice, and add a thin slice of lemon peel.” Keep it simple; even Bond drinks Heineken now.
VISIT THE DOCTOR
Sure you’re a tough Viking warrior that can deal with any illness or injury that life may throw at you. However, it’s not the 10th century in Scandinavia where showing weakness means being kicked out of your clan. The modern gent consults a doctor when something is amiss and admits when he’s not 100%. #invincible…#bullshit
COOK UP A STORM
Clearly it’s impressive to be able to wine and dine a girl with lavish meals at top restaurants, but don’t treat her like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”. You’re trying to get a girl’s respect not her time. With that said, know how to ace one dish for when she does come round. The idea is to wow her enough into staying and give yourself the chance to utter those notorious words, “How d’ya like your eggs in the morning?”
LEARN TO DANCE
When we say dance, we don’t mean a full-on routine where you tell the girl you’re with to clear the dancefloor. You want her thinking you’ve got some rhythm not gunning for an MJ impersonator position. Keep it simple and keep in time. There’s a whole host of video tutorials online to help you nail everything from a basic shuffle to the Cirque du Soleil. Just make sure you don’t bow when the song comes to an end.